GAY COUPLE: WEDDING VENUE SNUB ‘LIKE APARTHEID’
An engaged Paarl couple snubbed by a wedding venue because they’re gay have told Mambaonline about the humiliation of being treated like second class citizens.
The Weekend Argus reported that Emile Butler and Gareth O’Brien approached the Diemerskraal farm to host their dream wedding after they got engaged on the ninth of March.
The farm, which is both a vineyard and a cattle farm, is owned by the Morkel family and, according to its website, is “perfect for weddings, birthdays, conferences and even the launching of a new vehicle / tractor or aeroplane”.
“I had been at a wedding there previously and I knew that Gareth would love it too. I emailed them on 18th of March and never heard anything,” Butler said, noting that “nowhere on their website does is say it’s for straight couples only”.
He then phoned the venue and was at first told that their request would not be a problem and that he would soon be e-mailed a price list.
After the farm failed to contact him again, Butler messaged the venue and was finally told via SMS that they were now no longer welcome.
They said that “unfortunately the owners decided we can’t get married there. They said it’s not right for them to allow us to get married there,” explained Butler.
Jeanette Morkel confirmed to the Weekend Argus that they would not allow the couple to use the premises to get married because she was “not at peace with the situation”.
Butler told Mambaonline that the couple were “devastated and extremely hurt,” adding that “we felt like outcasts, like lepers. Why is our money not good enough for them? I feel like I’m living back in the apartheid era.”
When asked why he chose to go public with the matter, Butler said his fiancé told him that “we shouldn’t do it for us, but for all those other people who are in the same situation as us. We need to stand up and tell people what is going on and make people aware that there is still a lot of discrimination against gay people in South Africa.”
Butler, who wants an apology from the Morkel family, has lodged a complaint with the Human Rights Commission who told him that he has a case. “I have now left it in their capable hands,” he said.
The couple have been together for almost a year and a half. Butler said that there was immediate chemistry when he first met O’Brien.
“Everything was just right. He the kindest person under the sun,” he said about his fiancé. “He’s everything I’ve looked for in a partner and we have so much in common; the outdoors, animals – especially supporting the SPCA – and cooking.”
Butler revealed that since the story broke on the weekend, the couple have been approached by the Bellingham Homestead near Franschhoek who have offered their venue for the wedding at a reduced rate and have also offered to donate the proceeds to the SPCA.
“We are still going to go see the Bellingham Homestead but it’s very exciting,” he said. The couple plan to tie the knot sometime next year, depending on the availability of the final venue.
Under the Promotion of Equality and Prevention of Unfair Discrimination Act of 2000 individuals, companies, organisations and government departments cannot discriminate against anyone on the grounds of race, gender, disability, sexual orientation or religion/belief.
Seriously? The woman didn’t feel at peace with “the situation”. It’s her place, let her do with it what she wants to. She should be allowed to have her beliefs too and she isn’t hurting anyone or boycotting your marriage choice, just choosing to not be a part of it. I am fully in support of anyone marrying anyone they desire. What I do not support, is people forcing their beliefs on others. LIVE AND LET LIVE. Peace.
…And I’m sorry, but relating this story to being under apartheid oppression is a gross underestimation of what “Non-whites” went through.
Lol yeah, these guys are the ones that look so petty tryin to use apartheid cuz they are angry with the venue people
So JARED if they did not want black people to get married there, would it still be ok in your books, or coloured people?. Gay people are killed, raped and beaten daily, so yes Apartheid is a good way to compare the struggle gay people face.
totally agree with you. Jared shows little understanding of our constitution. If they want to run a business in South Africa then they MUST obey the rules of the country. And the rules state that NO-ONE, despite your personal beliefs, is allowed to discriminate against you because of your sexual orientation. It is one thing to have beliefs and another thing to discriminate. As you rightly illustrate, it would be equally unacceptable to deny people due to their race or religious beliefs either!
Some don’t know what it was like. Been gay in aparthied times was as hard for white men as non white
Jared: At least ‘non whites” didn’t have to “come out” or live a lie. Jeanette Morkel IS hurting plenty of people – people who are gay, protected by the constitution and want to get married at Diemersdal. She’s running a business that’s open to the South African public, not a charity in her private living room. NAME AND SHAME THEM!
@Jared…here is a quote from their welcome note on their home page.”Diemerskraal offers a warm welcome with something for everyone’s taste.” Need I say more??
Please guys,lets not get ahead of ourselves.NO ONE said that it is the same as the apartheid,they just expressed that they felt discriminated against like as if it was apartheid,so in actual fact they can at leats related and acknowledge that it was troublesome.Eish mara,I cant stand people of my race b-ing and moaning of something they weren’t even,a,part of and then trying to implement it into our daily lives.We should stop this and all stand together as to,fight against any form of discrimination as that is what APARTHEID was all about!!
This is appalling! I am a wedding planner and find it totally uncalled for that a wedding venue would say no to a gay couple! I would be happy to welcome a gay couple to my company and would love to plan their wedding. Everyone has a right to their beliefs, but if you offer a service to the public, you cannot just decide to say no whenever it suits you.
It’s not just venue’s – there are photographers, florists and the list goes on of people that say no because it’s a gay couple …..
1005 AGREE WITH JARED!
I hope the Diemerskraal Farm loses their customers and eventually close for being so shortsighted in this day and age.
Best vote with our wallets. Spurn Diemerskraal Farm and advise everyone you know to do so as well. A Peaceful and long married life to Gareth and Emile.
@Jared – I understand where your’e coming from but it’s still totally unacceptable. I’ve been thorugh the same crap. All your joy and happiness is turned into dissappointment, immense stress and gross humiliation. As soon as it’s Jack and Jack instead of
Same thing happened to me and my partner with a venue called Tres Jolie in Johannesburg
Same to me and hubby but I was damned if was going to spoil my day. We could not get anyone willing to marry us at all. Hubby was totally shocked at the refusal though. We ended up getting married through a place called ‘The Association of Creative Thought” in PE. If PE guys want to get married that’s the place to go