Another Gauteng wedding venue snubs gay couple
Sean Hydes and his partner Shawn Swiegers
A gay couple have been turned away from a leading Gauteng wedding venue because of their sexual orientation.
Sean Hydes and his partner of two years approached the well known Oakfield Farm in Honeydew to be the location for their wedding.
According to Hydes, when they arrived at the venue on the 25th of January to tour the facilities, the lady they made the appointment with appeared flustered after she realised she was dealing with a same-sex wedding.
She told the couple that she didn’t personally do gay weddings but that the owner of Oakfield, Matthew Stubbs, did. When he arrived, however, the woman quickly left Stubbs to inform the confused couple of quite the opposite.
Stubbs allegedly said that while he didn’t “mind gay people”, gay marriage is against his religious beliefs and that same-sex weddings could not be held at the venue.
Hydes told Mambaonline that the incident was “embarrassing and humiliating”. He explained that his biggest complaint was that the venue wasn’t upfront about its bigoted policy.
“They kind of pretend to be open to it but then they ambush you while you are there filling out the forms and doing a tour. At least be honest about it. It’s very unprofessional for such a well known venue,” he said.
Hydes believes that “it’s pathetic that people out there still have views” against gay marriage. “In general, trying to have a debate with them is pointless. It’s very old fashioned Christians and no matter what you say they won’t change their mind. That said, we wouldn’t want to get married there now anyway.”
He also revealed that the owner had contacted him since the incident with an apology of sorts. “His apology wasn’t that ‘I’m going to change my mind’, because he said that it’s still his belief, but he apologised for the way it was handled, that their policy should be made clear and that he would update the website.”
The contact page of the Oakfield Farm website now includes a disclaimer that reads:
“In order not to inconvenience any party, we wish to advise that due to the religious convictions of the shareholders of Auriga Investment Holdings, Oakfield Farm is not at liberty to conduct any other ceremonies that are inconsistent with such beliefs including same sex or polygamous unions. Should you have any queries in this regard please contact me at Matthew@oakfield.co.za and I shall get back you.”
One of Hydes’ friends commented on his Facebook page that, “Apparently a disclaimer now allows you to infringe on constitutional rights…”
Hydes said that his wedding will go ahead in September or October and confirmed that he’s found another wedding venue that’s happy to accommodate the couple.
The popular Oakfield Farm is said to be one of the oldest wedding venues in the country, and hosts two large bridal expos every January and July.
It’s not the first time that the venue’s been in trouble for its homophobic stance. In April, 2014, the Commission for Gender Equality notified Oakfield Farm that it was investigating a complaint against it of unfair discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.
That incident was one of three homophobic wedding venue snubs that Mambaonline is aware of in 20014 alone. In March, a lesbian couple was turned away by Kilcairn Farm in the Western Cape, while in August two gay men were snubbed by the Sha-Mani Lodge in Alberton, Johannesburg.
Sha-Mani had previously been fined R20,000 in 2012 for discriminating against a lesbian couple but appeared to simple shrug off the penalty and continued to reject lesbian and gay couples.
In March last year, the CEO of the SA Human Rights Commission, Kayum Ahmed, said that service providers are not allowed to discriminate against gay and lesbian people as this is a violation of the Constitution and the Promotion of Equality and Prevention of Unfair Discrimination Act.
Mambaonline has contacted both the Commission for Gender Equality and the SA Human Rights Commission requesting information about the status of cases against anti-gay wedding venues, and is awaiting a response.
Mamba, please can you keep you finger on the pulse in finding out what is happening further on some of the cases. I for one, as a Gay Married Man, would love to support and drive any case against any and ALL hate mongering!
I am a gay man and I am married – If I was Mr Stubbs I would shrug my shoulders and tell people to piss off… and this is why… I went to the Equality Court Website to see if I can find any data on previous cases or current cases, sadly none listed. Merely stating it is against the law leaves room for interpretation.
The Constitution of SA and Bill of Rights categorically states that people should be free of any discrimination against gender, orientation, race and religion… HOWEVER….
The Bill of Rights does not deny the existence of any other rights or freedoms that are recognised and therefore the RIGHT to discriminate based on RELIGION is allowed, provided that he is not selective – eg: all gay couples are excluded from his venue. You can not say lesbians are allowed by gay males are not – as that would constitute Discrimination based on Sexual Orientation which would make it illegal and you would have a right to complain.
Mr. Stubbs did offer an apology and has since updated his website to categorically state that he will not entertain weddings which is against his religions believes. This might make him a bigot and a stupid business man, but it most certainly makes him right. If people are insisting on saying this is against the Constitution then you only need to look at the BEE Policy in SA to see that our Constitution can indeed discriminate.
If you cant remember that far back… when campaigners argued for Marriage Equality we stop short of demanding that every church must facilitate gay weddings… why, because that would infringe on their religious right, and in the end it was the compromise need to pass the law. Most churches thereafter changed their own mind on it and have subsequently opened their doors freely.
In my opinion, if you go to a Wedding Venue which does not cater for Gay Weddings – then just put its name on your black list and tell all your friends and move on. Imagine when straight people want to plan their wedding there and phone the florist who promptly tells them based on their policy on Gay Weddings – I as a gay florist will not do your flowers… or I as a gay wedding cake company, or I as Wedding Dress Maker…
Weddings cost and generates a lot of money and any business will be stupid to turn it away … but as such I see no problem with Mr Stubbs opinion apart from being a Knut.
Oakfield Farm : Come celebrate your union in our field of bigotry.
@Ben what a pile of BS. Our constitution allows freedom of religion but your religion may not encroach on any of our other human right i.e. you cant start a religion that says I don’t serve black people and then not serve black people. A public service company may not discriminate, period, publicised or otherwise. As for Affirmative Action, this is an explicit exclusion i.e. you can discriminate if and only if it is to right the wrongs of apartheid.
What these homophobes are doing is ilegal plain and simple, just like similar offenders expect to see a fine going their way. As for the public I encourage you to boycott any wedding held at the wedding factory otherwise know as Oakfield farm – communicate this to your straight mates – if they’re real friends they’ll pick a different venue – this venue is characterless and tacky at best so you’ll be doing them a favour.
What an unfortunate turn of events! Guvon Hotels & Spas (we have seven hotels and 4 spas in the portfolio) have been proud sponsors of Mr Gay SA for a number of competitions and years as organsisers John ONeill and Coenie Kukkuk will confirm, as well as Francois and previous Mr Gay SA’s. We would love to host your wedding at any of our venues. There are some super winter wedding specials available so have a look at the venues and let us know if we can help!
Riaan and Daniel got married at Glenburn Lodge – the photos tell the story of a lovely day!
http://www.lindyleeming.co.za/blog/weddings/glenburn-lodge-wedding-riaan-and-daniel/
Barry and I got married at Helderfontein Estate in Lonehill, Johannesburg in 2010. The service was superb and I would strongly recommend them. At the time, we were their first gay male couple to host our wedding their and they had previously done a couple of lesbian weddings.