THE COST OF UNPROTECTED SEX
It’s said that people have more sex during economic downturns as they have less money to spend on other activities. That’s based, of course, on the assumption that sex is an inexpensive activity – but don’t be fooled: It could be more expensive than you think if it’s the unprotected kind.
Based on my experience, let’s look at how much money you would need to start saving if you become infected with HIV – just like I was.
It begins by finding out: The cost of an HIV test is around R500. Not too expensive yet – and you might even get this for free at some clinics and services. (This is for those of us who are actually proactive enough to go and get tested.)
Then you move into the ‘coming out’ phase in which you are faced with stigma; your own stigma and society’s stigma. Here the cost is not financial but on your mind and soul. We live in a society filled with fear and judgment where no amount of money can assist perception based emotions.
Only time and more communication over long sustained periods of time can make a difference. For those who are positive, it has to start with us. I am still not ready to come out to all of you, I am working on it.
Thankfully, there is medication to assist with the physical effects of being infected. You can expect to pay around R 1,200 a month – and that could be for the rest of your life. Your medical aid might cover this – that’s if you have medical aid of course. If not, you could try a government clinic, which sometimes run out of stock.
In addition to the monetary costs, some regimes have side effects that take their toll on your body and could in their own right reduce your life expectancy. Imagine what it would cost to treat a heart attack caused by damage from medication (that’s if you survive it of course).
Think that’s as bad as it gets? Not so quick: Every day, there are an ever-increasing number of people who are infected by a resistant strain of HIV. That’s what happened to me: I went onto a regime and realised that I wasn’t getting any better. The medication was not working.
If that happens to you, you can expect to be sent for a resistance test, costing around R5, 000, which basically tells you which medications your strain of HIV is resistant to.
Your test could confirm that you, just like me, are resistant to your current regimen and most other regimens. That means that none of the medicines available in South Africa will make you better.
There are a lot of young guys running around thinking that they can have unprotected sex because there are tablets for HIV and that if they get infected it will then mean they can go wild. The reality is that even if you are HIV positive you could make things worse by having unprotected sex with another HIV positive person.
“My strain of virus is resistant to most of the medication on the market…”
In my case, I discovered that I was infected by a re-infected guy (he was HIV-positive and was infected a second time by a person with a different strain of the virus) and this helped make my strain particularly resistant.
Partying normally assists a 27 year old like me with emotional turmoil and bad news. The drinking and three weeks of partying, after finding this out, cost me at the very least R3, 000. (It probably didn’t do anything for my health either.)
Jokes aside it’s really very serious; my strain of virus is resistant to most of the medication on the market. Without a good doctor who knows what he or she is doing (and who costs around R400 per session) you could threaten your life through the chance that you could be exposed to the wrong regimens. And without medication you will slowly but surely become sicker and less capable of living your life.
You could then find out from your doctor that there is a new regimen that you are not resistant to. But there is a catch: It’s not available here and it’s not covered by your medical aid because the pharmaceutical company that makes the medicines is not a registered company in South Africa.
If you pay for it yourself, the medication is going to set you back around R8, 000 a month (expensive enough for you yet?). And that’s provided you have a credible doctor who can access and motivate for the medication through the MCC (Medicines Control Council).
I am still on my quest to find a regimen that will work for me. One that I can afford. One that the government will allow my doctor to bring into the country. One that will keep me alive.
Having unprotected sex puts everyone at risk – even those who are already infected. If you are going to play unsafely make sure you know the costs – on your wallet and your life. HIV can in many cases – not all – be controlled by medication, but in this economic downturn make sure you can afford the costs.
Fucking in a financial economic downturn does not have to be taxing on your pocket and your life – if you play by the rules and respect yourself and your partners.
How much will it cost you for one night of fucking safely?
Condoms (probably need about two) +/- R20 (Free at most places)
Water based Lube +/- R40 (Free at most places)
Right attitude (Free)
Young HIV positive guy living in South Africa
Being positive. People do need to be made aware of these issues because there is this tendency to think that with the current treatment regimes getting hiv is manageable. Yes it is, but for those of us without the means, it is a costly business. I myself am hiv positive – found out 7 weeks ago. I contracted it from my boyfriend who i’ve been dating for 5 months now – he was upfront with me about his status and we practiced safe sex however during one session a condom broke. It’s been a blow but one has to remain positive in thought. I had the test to check if i had any resistant strains of the virus and do not. Luckily my doctor was able to sufficiently motivate my need for the test that my medical aid agreed to cover the full cost of R4000.
I feel that this article, although thoroughly emphasizing the financial implications, tends to veer towards the negative. My life has not stopped, i still have dreams and ambitions and believe they are achievable. i still gym regularly, i look after my health, i party, i laugh, i enjoy life. ARV treatment only starts when CD4 counts hit 350 or less (government clinics start only at 200). My current count is that of the average negative person. I’ve probably still got a good few years before i begin any kind of treatment. Current ARV regimes give a life expectancy of 50 years – i’m 37 now – that means i’m looking at kicking the bucket somewhere in my 80’s. I’m not saying that HIV is not serious – it is – and one needs to respect it if you are going to manage it well. Financial implications on those without the means are great. So think about your actions. There is more to being POZ than just the health ramifications.
My message is more to those that are POZ, grieve for and acknowledge your loss but realise your life is not over, don’t stop believing in happiness and dreaming of the future. Take responsibility for living your life and enjoying and savoring it.
thank you. THis is most encouraging after I only found out of my status – Positive as of yesterday!
Always keep up good spirit. It will keep you alive in everyway.
Nice. Love this article
thanks
unprotected sex. good luck and hope everythng works out
Really sorry to hear about all this, quite hectic.
Wishing you all the best for the future. I will always be safe, thanks for all the encouragement.
Good attitude
Love life
My partner is positive and we obviously always use condoms.
My partner never ejaculates while still in me because he says that the condom may break. Naively, Ive kind of brushed this idea aside, until I read the first message.
If I can direct my question to “being positive” – Do you know why the condom broke ? Please forgive me for being intrusive or for raising an obviously painful incident, but your answer may protect a life in the future.
Being Positive. In answer to positive negative, i’m afraid i can’t really answer that question, i’m not sure if it was a lack of lube or if perhaps we were being too aggressive. When my boyfriend withdrew that is when we noticed it tore – it may have even been only then that it broke.
In cases like this you need to contact your doctor right away!
Big penis and not enought lube.
Not paying enough attention.
unprotected sex – attitudes. Wonderful article, well written and highlights a lot of reality people don’t generally consider. Really sorry to hear of your experience but medical progress is picking up so much speed, i’m expecting an invitation to your 80th birthday party!
Many ways of looking at HIV, and this is one of them.
Thanks
thank you
It will be a bendor!
Thank you!. I’d like to express my appreciation for the writer of this article. You may not be willing to give your identify, but this article took bravery and courage and I am happy that we are finally engaging about HIV. I am aware of the vicious stigma of being HIV negative, coming from the corporate world as well as on a personal level. I told my mother a few days ago that I had an HIV test and she looked at me with disgust and questioned my motives. The reality is that we live in the 21st century and in South Africa especially, HIV is a serious and very real part of everybody’s life (positive or negative). Gone are the days where you can meet someone and be in a relationship and have unprotected sex without worrying about its implications. I was with a man for 1 year in a committed relationship (at least on my side). The reality is that people ARE fallable and all it takes is 1 night of drunkard/drugged up unfaithfulness from your partner to land up contracting HIV yourself (however faithful you are). Luckily, I am negative, but the fact remains that just by assuming that I was in a committed relationship did not keep me safe from the virus. The only way is to assume that everybody has HIV and to take the necessary precautions. Although I am negative, it was a HUGE wake up call when I found out that my ex-boyfriend was untrue. Bottom line, use a fucking condom!
Thank you for such an amazing response.
Alot of people are still having unprotected sex and that is the reality even in relationships.
People are people we need to take that attitude and look after ourselves and each other.
RESPECT!
I really appreciate your response. I will one day reveal my identity when the time is right.
Young HIV positive guy living in South Africa
Postivity is only the beginning. I have been positive now for nearly 10 years. Still thankfully no need for ARV’s. So my current costs are imune boosters, vitamins, condoms and lube.
Alot of us has the perception that it has become more accepting within the gay culture. It is true in some sense.
It has become more accepting when you tell a friend, but when telling a potential lover you can see that a large percentage are still uneducated. Some are educated but still not prepared to take that chance.
And then there are the small percentage who is prepared to take the chance on love, I have been lucky enough to meet one and we have been together for almost 2 years and looking forward to many more…
Hi there – this is such an eye opener – I just found out yesterday that I am positive. I dont want to cry just yet… my fear is that I am going to die. I think over the next few days I will probably have more of a shock… but now I feel fine. I recall a period of 2 years ago when I had unprotected sex – and I know that is where i got it from – however – since the guy that gave it to me was comfortable having unprotected sex – should I let him know of my status? I am lost about this.
I have not even considered telling anyone yet… its all just too fresh.
Hi there
you should let him know. It will benefit you in hte long run especially if he knows he is positive.
It will also help when you need to go on medication as you can see what medication he was on if any.
It will also help with the healing process.
Young HIV positive guy living in South Africa
That really is incredible news. HIV affects everyone differently and it depends on the strain on virus you get.
I wish you many years to come filled with love and joy.
Lon life
Young HIV positive guy living in South Africa
Thanks for the article. Thanks for sharing .. I think many peeps don’t take HIV as serious as it is.
No they don’t sadly
posive n. yhanks for the article and answer for positive negative is tell u partner not to be aggresive or rough when making love thats only solution i know for brealing condoms.
play safe
Thanks for the response
treatment. How do you get treatment
You need to go see a doctor.
Or HIV clinic the triangle project is a great place to start.
There contact numbers are on the site. They are dicreet and respectful and compassionate.
Safe Sex. In this day and age, with all the information out there about HIV, anyone who does unsafe sex is a nut case.
And if someone, knowing that he or she is positive, infects someone else with HIV, the charge should be attempted manslaughter AT LEAST!
Condoms, ALWAYS!
Its always a difficult thing.
Safe sex is the best sex.
As for positive people who infect others well its all our resposibilty to be safe.
Its a tough one.
A brilliant Doctor. Doctor Dave Johnson
011 622 4548