MAMBA GOSSIP

Chace Crawford plays with the family jewels

Gossip Girl stud Chace Crawford was spotted playing with the family jewels recently. Caught unawares on a balcony by the paparazzi while chatting on the phone, a topless Chace was seen with his hands in his shorts absentmindedly checking that the two boys were still there. Any guy will acknowledge that it’s just something that men like to do! If he needs any help with regular hernia cough tests though, we’d be more than happy to volunteer for the job.

McQueen’s label to continue

Iconic celebrity designer Alexander McQueen’s recent tragic suicide left his label in chaos, with some suggesting that without him at the helm the brand would be doomed. Recent good news is that McQueen’s unique sensibility will live on. The Gucci group, which owns 51% of the brand, has confirmed that the label and its 11-stores around the world will not be scrapped. “I believe strongly in the Alexander McQueen brand and its future,” said Gucci Group CEO Robert Polet on Friday. Despite the brand reportedly having run at a loss for some time, we’re not very surprised by the statement. After all, there’s nothing quite like an artist’s death to boost profits. Call us cynical, but at least McQueen’s 180 employees may get to keep their jobs.

Lady Gaga really is a lady

Remember those rumours that surfaced last year that Lady Gaga was a hermaphrodite or, to be more correct, intersexed? Despite a denial, that didn’t seem to change some people’s opinions, with the story becoming a veritable celebrity urban legend. (Anyone recollect the one about Richard Gere and a gerbil?) Well, we think the is-she-or-isn’t-he debate was finally settled this past week. While performing at the Brit Awards in honour of Alexander McQueen, Gaga’s very tight and very short outfit revealed, in the midst of a crouch, quite a lot of her lady bits. Members of the audience probably didn’t spot it, but a close examination of photographs of the performance confirms that Gaga is indeed all lady. Jump here if you want to see the gynaecological evidence for yourself – bearing in mind your boss may not approve.

Robert Pattinson’s vagina allergy

Speaking of va-jay-jays… Twilight star Robert Pattinson has claimed in a new interview with Details magazine that he’s allergic to vaginas. Speaking about the magazine’s accompanying steamy photo shoot, which features numerous naked women, Robert said: “I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.” Allergic to vaginas? Surely not a good thing for a heterosexual man? He also revealed that when it comes to the love of his life, Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart surprisingly enough doesn’t feature. “The only emotional connection of relevance is with my dog. My relationship with my dog, it’s ridiculous,” he said. We hope that Kristen has a fantastic sense of humour…

Taylor Lautner no longer jail-bait

We wrestled with our conscience last year as we watched the hunky Taylor Lautner in New Moon in all his shirtless glory. Despite knowing that he was underage, it was quite a challenge to resist his buff bod and stop ourselves from having all kinds of dirty and wholly inappropriate thoughts about what we’d like to do with it. Oh the guilt, the shame! But fret no more dear readers as Taylor – who’s currently in cinemas in the lukewarm Valentine’s Day – celebrated his eighteenth birthday last week. You can now ogle and fantasise all you like and not feel like a dirty old man. When asked what he was planning to do to celebrate the big day, he replied: “Absolutely nothing really. I mean, I’ll spend time with family and friends. I don’t like to do anything huge, but it is 18, so, it’s kind of a big one I guess.” Indeed, especially for his lustful fans!

Charl’s porno past makes headlines overseas

Poor Charl van den Berg! The Mr. Gay SA who was recently crowned the fairest gay in the whole wide world at the recent Worldwide Mr. Gay in Norway just cannot escape his porno past. As you all probably know, Charl – who apparently boasts eight inches and is uncut and a top – starred in a solo ‘jerk-off’ video for a local porn studio, which has been available for some time on its website. While the SA media seems to have dealt with the issue, the matter is now gaining international attention.

Popular gay blog Queerty has picked up on the topic, noting: “You thought the big story out of Oslo’s Mr. Gay World pageant was the inclusion of a Chinese contender who entered against the wishes of Beijing? Wrong! The bigger (read: more scandalous) story is that Mr. South Africa Charl van den Berg, the restaurant manager crowned the champion over the weekend, appeared naked in a jack-off video.”

Worldwide Mr. Gay’s director Tore Aasheim defended his organisation’s choice of a man “tainted” by scandal by suggesting that Charl was a hapless victim: “Sometimes, within the gay scene there are opportunists who identify these men and promise them a better life and freedom within the adult entertainment industry, in which exploitation may result. Our organisation embraces those men that have found the courage to escape the exploitation in an effort to find a better life.” Okay… In our opinion, Charl was much more honest, stating simply: “Porn is an integral part of the gay lifestyle – it’s just that most guys don’t have the guts to do what I did.” You go boy!

Justin Timberlake assaulted by drag queens

Okay, so he wasn’t really assaulted, but he did recently have two ‘cocks in frocks’ give him a big smooch on the cheek, all while he himself wore a snazzy blonde wig and pink high heels. Justin was the recipient of the “Man of the Year” title as awarded by Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Club. The annual event features celebrities usually making a fool of themselves; all, we presume, in a vain attempt to show us that they don’t take themselves too seriously and really do have a sense of humour. This time round Justin was asked to strap a teeny weenie jewellery box around his waist – intended to ‘accommodate’ his reputedly small manhood. And then he was forced to dance for the audience, which included embarrassed girlfriend Jessica Biel, in the pink heels. Speaking after the ceremony, a jovial Justin said that he was quite comfortable in drag. “