MR GSA FINALIST IN ‘UGLY’ FURORE
Gordon Grieve (Pic: Reno Horn)
A Mr Gay South Africa 2014 finalist has been accused of being a bad role model after he posted a comment about “ugly” people on Facebook.
Gordon Grieve, who placed in the top five of the competition late last year, was criticised for stating on his Facebook profile earlier this month: “There is nothing worse than an ugly person with self confidence. Drives me insane.”
He was quickly attacked for the comment by some of his followers. Greg Arthur responded: “Comments like this perpetuate stigma, the very thing you claim to want to address in society. Stigma, like everything else, starts with you.”
Ben Lourens added: “So ugly looking ppl should have inferiority complexes base purely on their looks? LOL That’s shallow.”
Ettienne Fouche wrote: “That is the most conceited statement I have ever heard! This from someone who no doubt was spewing out just how much he cares for his fellow man less than a month ago in a beauty contest.”
Grieve explained that he made the comment “in reference to the very serial killer looking guy that had the nerve to open my shower doors at gym and asked if he could join”.
Mambaonline received a number of messages complaining about Grieve’s status update, questioning how he could be considered a role model or ambassador for the gay community when he held these kinds of views.
Mr Gay South Africa organiser Emil Faber told Mambaonline that he was surprised by the comment. “It’s very unlike Gordon. I can’t image why he would say something like that”.
Grieve initially defended his post, stating: “People can say about my status what they want. All of us has at least once in our lives ignored a Facebook friendship request from someone, based purely on their looks. I’m just actually the only person that has the balls to say it out loud.”
He later apologised and told Mambaonline that he was sorry if he had offended anyone. Grieve said that the comment was based on something he read in an internet meme or “e-card”.
“I also do believe that had I posted the meme/e-card, people would’ve seen the humour in that statement. I did however post it as a comment as I knew it would cause controversy, and I wanted to see what people’s reactions were,” he said.
“Most of the people close to me, including my mom who is a pastor, saw the satire behind it as they know I’m not a judgemental person. I have never thought I’m better than anyone else, regardless of social status, wealth, health or looks.
“I am from a humble background and will always stay true to that. I personally don’t even see myself as an attractive person. I have my insecurities within myself too. Bad, skin, curly hair, ugly toes – the list goes on. I have just gone on to accept my flaws and work with my positives,” he said.
What do you think? Was Grieve entitled to make the comment? Was it legitimate humour or do these kinds of statements perpetuate discrimination and exclusion within the gay community?
I recognize that he is trying to apologize, but what he has to say in his apology is still problematic. For example, does he now consider curly hair to be unattractive and something worthy of insecurity and self-hate?
He overemphasizes looks, a common problem in the LGBT community, which leads our community to develop psychological problems like Body Dysmorphic Disorder. This finalist should examine why his perception of his own physical appearance has such a strong correlation with his self-esteem. It need not be that way, and is not a healthy way to live.
He has a right to be annoyed by somebody invading his personal space in the gym. But to be driven ‘insane’ by an ‘ugly person with self-confidence’ is taking it too far.
To think we allow ourselves to be guided by a twenty-something year old that has as much experience of life and love as my cat. All the while Pride being mismanaged… Surely somebody is also seeing the problem with our Community…?
Hi is right. He is ugly – from within especially
I don’t understand why people are being so hard on him. He is still very young and is bound to put his foot in his mouth from time to time. With maturity comes acceptance, tolerance and open mindedness – something he has yet to attain. Gordon! Don’t let the nasty comments get to you. Just learn from it and move on.
I’m sorry, but i have experience the same thing on facebook, people see what they want to see in your statuses, I stated once that i was missing someone and a few hours later, family is phoning me to say sorry that my sister past away, how they got to my sister and “dead” in my status, i don’t know. People are to quick to judge and make assumption of what they understand and interpret from others.
Hi Guys. Thanx for all the comments. I have read all of them and taking it to heart. I however do need to add. In the formal reply that was sent to Mambaonline. I stated I misquoted the E-card, the statement was supposed to say over confident, not self confident
What an arrogant little man. Perhaps he should remember that his pretty face wont remain pretty forever! Age and gravity are not kind to any of us. Wonder how he will feel, in 20 years time, when someone tells him that he is UGLY!
Again we are freaking out about nothing really. We have all put our foot in our mouth at some point in our lives and said something we regretted later. I trust that Gordon appreciate the impact his statement made and doubt that he will make that same mistake again. Besides the gay community is very fickle and judgmental. Why do we pretend it isn’t so?
Role model for what? A bunch of muscle Mary’s in speedos…mmm…what do they want to do for the community? Have the pageant. get guys who do porn to enter (they have before) gays like that.. Don’t pretend that this pageant is anything more than that. A slutty pageant (again, we like that). These guys are perhaps role models for looking good but that is where it ends.
Get over yourselves. whatever Mr GSA stands for, it has been the most fun event in the community since it started and certainly the most talked about. How many times have you not made a stupid status update? PS he has not the won the competition, if it was the winner it it could have been noteworthy.
This boy is a very sad person, havent you learned DONT PUBLISH EVERYTHING ON SOCIAL MEDIA ( media whores) All the same when in the pageant they want to work with kids, old people ugly people and of course world peace but behind the scene its a completely different story
I agree Paramanel. I often cringe at the willingness the “gay community” seems to have to adopt some of the less than desirable facets of the “straight community”. This bid to be normal. Beauty pageants being one of them.
I was looking through the original line up here for the competition and I thought to myself when I came to the half naked Gordon Grieve “oh shame he’s going to really battle”. It appears he allowed himself to believe he is some kind of demigod by the whole sordid affair instead. This is not right either.
His clarification here in comments does nothing at all to address his conceit and misguided opinions, though. Happily they do bring the issue out of the closet even further. This way of thinking is sadly quite common amongst men who love men an issue which should be addressed by our community, beauty pageants foster these instead.
Its a big mistake to think our community is without fault simply because “we” are and in so many places around the world persecuted and denied free expression and basic human rights. No doubt about it there are some very creepy men who love men. No surprises there. Join the queue Gordon!
Funny how many times he changed his story about what the comment on Facebook was about: #1 – Guy in the shower at gym, #2 – Denying a FB friend request because a guy was ugly, #3 – A meme…who cares whether your mother’s the virgin Mary, you dissed and you got dissed! Take it like a man. If you want to make a statement, regardless of what it is, have the backbone and the conviction to stick to it. You’re weak.