Muldersdrift Gay Couple in Grindr Hostage Ordeal Allege Police Neglect

A man and his boyfriend have shared a harrowing account of being held hostage for almost three days in their home in Muldersdrift, outside of Johannesburg, by two men they had initially sought to assist.

The incident, which reportedly took place from Saturday, 30 November, to Tuesday, 3 December, allegedly involved intimidation, manipulation and theft by the intruders.

The primary victim, who works in the printing business, detailed the ordeal in hopes of warning others in the LGBTIQ+ community about the potential dangers of meeting people on online platforms, where the suspects allegedly targeted them.

A Gesture of Help Turned Hostage Situation

According to the victim, the ordeal began when one of the men contacted him via Grindr and Facebook, claiming to be in dire need of assistance. Despite initially referring him to a shelter, the victim offered the man temporary work at his printing business and later agreed to provide him with food and a place to sleep for the night.

Upon arriving at the victim’s home, the man’s behaviour changed. Without permission, he invited a friend to join him, and the pair then refused to leave. Their demeanour quickly turned aggressive, with one of the men allegedly assaulting the victim and taking control of his phone.

“They told us, ‘You’ve got us now,’ and refused to leave. It became clear they were on drugs,” the victim told MambaOnline.

The situation escalated when the intruders began rearranging furniture, monitoring the couple and rummaging through their belongings.  They demanded money, forcing the victim to withdraw R700, of which they allowed him to keep only R100 to put in petrol.

Threats and Escape

The victim was always accompanied by one of the men when he needed to drive anywhere. He described feeling like a hostage, with the man allegedly holding a knife to his throat and issuing direct threats. “He implied that if I didn’t comply, my boyfriend could be in danger,” he said.

The victim initially assumed the perpetrators, whom he believes to be in their late twenties, were gay because one of them had contacted him on Grindr.

“It turned out that both were straight, but they were on Grindr and I saw one of them make a date with another person to rob him,” the victim stated.

“They said that if we gave them R2,500 each they’d leave but we realised that they would simply have demanded more if we paid them,” he added. 

In a desperate attempt to seek help, the victim included a note in a delivery to a client, pleading for assistance. The couple eventually managed to escape the house by fleeing to their car in an opportune moment and driving away.

Aftermath: Theft, Vandalism, and Police Neglect

When the couple returned to their home with law enforcement, they found their house ransacked, vandalised, and defiled with urine and faeces. Items including passports, vintage watches, hard drives, and business equipment were stolen.

The couple’s attempts to report the crime were allegedly met with indifference by the Muldersdrift Police Station. According to the victim, officers refused to open a case, citing the fact that the suspects had been invited into the home.

“The station commander dismissed our pleas, implying it might have been a ‘sex party gone wrong.’ He even questioned why I didn’t cause an accident with my car to alert someone,” the victim said. “They didn’t take us seriously because we were gay and when they realised that we are a couple, their demeanour changed.”

The lack of police action has left the couple feeling unsafe, frustrated, and unable to begin the healing process. “We can’t move forward if this isn’t taken seriously. These men need to be held accountable,” the victim insisted.

Ongoing Impact

The traumatic event has taken a severe emotional toll on the couple, with the victim’s boyfriend reportedly experiencing suicidal thoughts. They have yet to return to their home, staying instead with family for safety.

“We are still receiving threatening messages from them. I now have to change my number even though it’s my business number,” said the victim. This wasn’t about sex—it was about targeting us for our goodwill. We didn’t deserve this. No one does. But even if it was about sex, so what?” he asked.

The couple now faces the daunting task of finding new accommodation during the festive season, recovering stolen property, and dealing with the disruption to their business.

A Call for Justice

The victim has called for the police to take their case seriously and for the Muldersdrift station commander to undergo sensitivity training.

The couple, who are undergoing trauma counselling, hope to see the suspects held accountable in court and are urging others in the LGBTIQ+ community to exercise caution when connecting with people online.

“It’s frustrating, it’s infuriating. The commander’s failure to act puts others at risk. By ignoring this, he’s enabling these criminals to strike again,” the victim said.

The incident is one of many in which LGBTIQ+ individuals, particularly gay men, have been targeted by criminals on online dating apps and social media platforms in South Africa. It’s believed that many victims do not report these attacks, fearing judgement, stigmatisation and secondary victimisation.

SA Police Service Responds

Gauteng Police Spokesperson Brigadier Brenda Muridili told MambaOnline that the couple’s allegations against the Muldersdrift Police Station and its commander are being taken seriously.

“All SAPS members are expected to adhere to the code of conduct and the code of ethics, and the management of the Police in Gauteng will not tolerate any secondary victimisation of crime victims,” said Muridili.

She committed to referring the matter to the Independent Police Investigative Directorate (IPID) to address and resolve the complaint.

 

• If you’ve experienced a similar incident or another dating app attack and you’d like to bring it to the attention of the LGBTIQ+ community, please email info@mambaonline.com. If you need support or counselling, please email OUT LGBT Well-being at report@out.org.za.